I once went on a “first date” with a weird guy that was planned at a trendy restaurant—and then when we met up, he kept raving about the wonderful cheap Thai food he’d had just before arriving. Uh, I thought the point of having a date at a restaurant was to, you know, eat there? I honestly wasn’t looking for a free meal; I was just starving after a long day at work, and was willing to “go Dutch.” The dude kept saying he was full but that I could get food by myself. By then I think I would’ve choked on it…

Suffice it to say, I wanted a way to get the heck outta dodge gracefully. Friends had offered to call my mobile in order to check up on me and, if necessary, provide me an alibi to leave—but their planned calls weren’t going to happen nearly soon enough. Memories of that ordeal came bubbling up recently when I saw a new campaign from DiGiorno, called “The Ditcher.”

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